HAPPY MEDIUM BETWEEN WORK AND LIFE
One of my clients said she needed to vent. She's not making excuses, simply just saying it out loud. She's trying to find a balance between being a mom, wife, friend, working her full-time job, and growing her business. She's overwhelmed, but she knows she needs to keep climbing if she wants to reach her goals. I'd listened and I shared my unsolicited honest advice and confession. I'm always about keeping things real.
The truth is, I was searching for the exact same thing she was when I started my photography business. Finding that balance between all the roles I play: mother, wife, friend, and entrepreneur. Well I never did. The more I was trying to make everything perfectly aligned, the more stress I got. So I stop searching and this is what I started to do:
- Plan ahead - It helped me to be prepared and adjust things if it needed to be. For example, if I knew there was going to be an event that was going to take up my whole weekend I made sure everything for my business for the following week was all set, I wouldn't set up a client call on a Monday, and I would do any food shopping for the family before the weekend came.
- Commit - What do I mean?? I mean when I blocked off a time for someone or something I would show up, I wouldn't flake out. I wouldn't call last minute to cancel. If I had a date night scheduled with Andrew, I would make sure the date night happened. Every Friday night it was family night for our little family, so I never scheduled anything with friends or family on a Friday night, that was our time to just hang out. If I had a night booked to hang out with my girlfriends, I was committed. I mean my girlfriends is one of my support systems. Don't get me wrong, there were times when the schedule had to be moved around, but I try to keep that to a limit.
- Give myself grace - When things didn't go as plan, the week was just basically crazy, date night didn't happen, just too many lemons thrown at me and the lemonade wasn't made. I gave myself grace and I still do. But planning ahead helped me when things didn't go as plan (my cushion).
- Be present - This was the hardest part for me and I've come along way. What I mean by being present is not just your body, but with your mind and heart. For example, when it's date night I would talk about what direction I wanted to grow the business, how stressed I felt, or my mind would be thinking of something else while I'm hanging out with Andrew. Totally not cool. So I promised myself that I would not talk about business on a date night (pause the business mind) and just hang out with him. When it was family night or me just hanging out with my son, my cellphone would be in another room. I didn't want him to see that I'm always on the phone and that is a norm. It's definitely a parenting model I don't want him to replicate.
So I'm asking you to stop aiming for perfection, but instead aim for enjoyment in things you do. Definitely try the 4 things I listed above. I know you got this. I got your back. If you have a friend that could use this, feel free to pass it along to them.