Why do you put the dishes away so loud? Why do you talk so fast? No one is going to understand you. Why do get mad so easily? Why can’t you be like your older sister? Why do you talk back? No one is going to want to marry you. This is what my mom had said to me growing up. She was raising me to become a good wife.

You see my mom is a traditional Hmong mom. She wanted me to obey and just do as I’m told. I’m not mad at her, it was how she was raised and that's all she knew. But I knew I couldn’t be that person she wanted to me to be. When I’m excited, I’m loud. Yes, I do talk fast. I use to talk so fast that my middle and high school friends told me that I should just become a rapper. 

I’ve accepted, she doesn’t understand who I am. It's damn okay. 

That’s not me.

I looked myself in the mirror and I said to myself. This is who I am. I have dreams that may not align with what my mom envisioned. My personality may not meet her expectations but it’s me. Yes, I’ll never cook as great as my older sister, and it’s okay. I do have to admit her cooking is way better than mine. I told my mom it's her fault cause she shared all the  cooking secrets with my oldest sister. 

When I started to embrace me,  my mom started to come around. It took a while, but she started to see Sheng. Our relationship is a lot better and she actually takes my cooking advice once every 3 years, but hey I'll take that. 

The greatest relationship that I needed to improve was with myself. 

So look in the mirror and if you can honestly say you love the person who see, then love that person. Don’t try to meet the standards of your parents, brothers, sisters, and friends, because I’m telling you will never meet their standards. Their standards for you will change, but yours won't. 

Be  you! 



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